❀ 5th Konpeito ❀ [Text]

[konpeitoqueen]

[A strange text comes onto the network. Wait, what's that name? No one's seen her since Poolgate 2014, what's-]

how do you get muk grime out of your hair

[No one's seeing her face yet... though, no one in their right mind would be really worried with her sudden lack of presence. After that Spoink horde.

...SERIOUSLY. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET MUK GRIME OUT OF YOUR HAIR.]

Comments

[text]

[beholdmydemons]

Lop it off.

[text]

[konpeitoqueen]

can someone who actually has hair that looks good reply

[pipers_son]

help and thorough cleaning?????

did you make someone else mad

[konpeitoqueen]

it doesn't get the smell out and it makes your hair curly

and no not someone else

text;

[lullabytes]

Is normal washing not working?

Why do you have Muk grime in your hair, Saionji-san? Are you all right? We haven't heard from you in a while.

[konpeitoqueen]

it leaves it looking curly

[CASUALLY AVOIDS OTHER QUESTIONS]

[artificialrose]

Oh no, you poor dear. I think I remember having to help a friend with this once.

If Muk goo is anything like some other unfortunate things I've had to deal with, you may want to try and get olive oil (or baby oil would work as well I suppose) and have it put where the grime meets your hair. Then you'll have to carefully comb it all out.

[konpeitoqueen]

[BLESS YOU GARRY]

finally an actual good answer!

at least some people here still have some sense

text

[bertall]

_{[He's still not sorry about the tree thing.]}

Why should I tell you?

[konpeitoqueen]

who i said i needed YOU to tell me

[BITTER, BITTER THOUGHTS]

[Audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You can't! It's going to stay in there forever and short of going bald, there's nothing you can do about it!

[He really doubts it works that way, but that's not going to stop Cobra from taunting her.]

TEXT FOREVER

[konpeitoqueen]

[Oh, look. It's this little shit.]

can someone with more than half a brain answer my question instead

[text]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Wanna hear something funny? I actually know.

A better question is, why should I tell you?

[konpeitoqueen]

if you're not going to tell me why would you even take the time to talk to me in the first place??

idiot

[DON'T THINK SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, OLD MAN.] unless you're some kind of loli pedo trying to play hard-to-get, because ew!!!

[Text]

[babel_hacker]

[Ah, it's Saionji. Their last conversation ended on that awkward note, but...

Do I want to ask how that happened?

[konpeitoqueen]

i was near muk what do you think

[DODGES THE QUESTION YET AGAIN! This is a new record.

Anyway, yes, it ended on an... awkward note, to say the least.]

[twinsanity]

[Oh, it's this one...Alfred has actually had no...truly negative experiences with Saionji himself - she's a bit annoying, surely, but not to an unmanageable degree - but she's made the completely unforgivable mistake of negatively impacting Alfred's territory.

...In other words, she's messed with Bert and therefore Alfred has made sure to obtain the guy's permission to feed her to one of his carnivorous insects as soon as he gets the chance. Because Alfred is obsessively protective when it comes to people he likes and how they're treated.

But for now, this is amusing and he's not going to pass up this opportunity, so.]

You could always just shave your head, you know. It'll solve the problem rather quickly, and then you can play with your own kind all you want without fear of what'll happen to your hair!

[konpeitoqueen]

[WOW

WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT. Saionji's going to assume that this guy is actually someone she knows under a different name, because she'd think only those who know her would be so outright rude. She does understand she's getting a reputation- one she liked at first and now is kinda going out of control- but...]

that is the most STUPID thing i've EVER seen you hog!!! who's stupid and slimy enough to hide behind a name i don't recognize, anyway??

how about you shut up you little bitch!

[text]

[awesmazings]

muk grime?

what happened?

[text]

[konpeitoqueen]

[you know you would think people would catch on that she wouldn't answer that from all the previous messages

but hey it's jimmy]

i was near muk, obviously moron

[text]

[enjoymyatelier]

[ahahahahahaha oh my god

...well, she's had plenty of humiliation already, and he's not the sort of person to kick people when they're down unless he has done the kicking and by kicking I mean dissecting them alive.

...in any case, he has standards and is capable of being a gracious enemy.]

Hah.

Now may be a good time to acquaint yourself with the wonders of lemon water and vinegar.

[...and by gracious we mean condescending as fuck.]

Re: [text]

[konpeitoqueen]

[YOU RUDE LITTLE SHIT

except Saionji is littler than you, but still]

how DARE you laugh at me like that just because i got assaulted by Pokémon ONCE

these things happen out of nowhere you know!

[ text ]

[imthe_shit]

Muk? [ Snake wasn't sure if that was a typo or what. He'd not actually met a Muk yet. ]

[konpeitoqueen]

yes MUK the POKÉMON

i know you're an old man but you can't be forgetting ALREADY

[video]

[pianosongs]

[In here because he recognizes the transmission... and also because the boy is full of beautiful tips.]

Mineral oil will break down the grime; if you leave it in for a few minutes then comb it out, it should remove most of it. Then a thorough shampooing and conditioner would assist in getting out the remainder. Depending on how much, you may want to repeat the process twice.

[text]

[konpeitoqueen]

[AH YES MORE ADVICE.]

that sounds good... wait, have you sent me a message before?

[REMEMBER THIS]