konpeitoqueen | ❀ 3rd Konpeito ❀ [Video/Action]

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❀ 3rd Konpeito ❀ [Video/Action]

VIDEO

[Who's the most terrible trainer in the world? Saionji Hiyoko, that's who. In any case, she's staring at the video screen, a Vaporeon sitting on her lap. And both of them looked pissed as hell.

Hey, it's not like Saionji didn't even notice Naoryuu was gone!... Okay, yeah, she didn't. But that doesn't change the situation right now.]

When I find out who took my Eevee and forcibly evolved him into a Vaporeon when I wanted an Umbreon, I'll have you publicly stoned! Since execution isn't an option here, I'll have to do with torture. You won't get away with this, slimy pig!

[And, video off.]

ACTION

[Said Vaporeon is currently paddling in the large pond behind the Gym in Violet City. Saionji is sitting at the edge and pouting. Her Petilil is hopping up and down the road bobbing sweets and biscuits on its head from... god knows where to Saionji, but always ends up having to go back to town for more because it gets splashed in the face and dragged into the water by the Vaporeon frequently. Saionji doesn't seem to care much.

...Approach?]

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That too. I mean, some exist for good reasons, but others seem to exist just for the obligatory courtroom drama! [WHAT DO YOU MEAN BEATING UP SOMEONE AND SETTING DEATH TRAPS ISN'T TECHNICALLY LEGAL]

Yes they can. It's just a matter of whether they look good or not. I mean, I wouldn't complain if someone anonymously evolved my Pokémon for me, but not to the wrong one!

Plus, it's widespread, and they're returning them- it's like that just want to see the flashy evolution and just boot them out!

Thank Christ I don't have to deal with the courtroom crap. That's what lawyers are for. [His brows knit.] What's an eight-year-old care, anyway?

It's not gonna look good no matter what. That's not what dogs are for. You're supposed to throw sticks for them, not try to make them tapdance.

Then people should keep a better eye on their animals.

[Damn it, you're not a cop here, it's not your problem, you don't need to get involved.

Blake sighs.]

How widespread are we talking?

I'm not an eight-year-old, dumb pig! First appearances are always deceiving.

You'll be surprised what tricks they can do! And these are Pokémon, so they're not exactly limited by normal dog standards, are they?

And... well, in the time I've put up this video, three other people contacted me about their own Pokémon being kidnapped. One of them got evolved twice, and none of them through leveling. All of them evolved through items or holding items while trading!

[Blake bristles] Who are you calling a pig, you little brat?

They're not for tricks, they're for fighting. [He flings a stick a little too hard, but the Kingler leaps up and manages to snap it up.]

That's some weird crap. Were they all in the same area?

Who else?

Rejecting the potential for these creatures just because it's not common is a dumb thing to do. Two are in Violet City too, but I don't think Big Bro Atsuro is. He bought me konpeito from somewhere else. [Hmmm.]

You better watch your mouth.

[He grunts.] Dancing's a waste of time no matter who's doing it.

[Damn this for getting his attention.] Violet, huh...wait, the hell is a cone pay toe?

How about you watch yours? But since you can't even appreciate the fine arts and know what one of the most refined sweets in the living world is, I shouldn't expect you to have any more knowledge than the normal uncultured pig.

Because I'm the adult here. I can talk however I want. [That's what maturity means.]

I hate to break it to you, but dancing and candy aren't culture.

[Speaking of dancing, the Kingler is scuttling back and forth, impatient for the next throw]

What an evasive, untrue answer! You're just a filthy Westerner, after all- who would ever take your definition of what culture is?

[Teehee.]

Western-- [All sorts of things crash together in Blake's head and don't add up.] You're blonde, kid, where do you think you're from?

I'm from Japan, duh! What does being blonde have to do with where I'm from?

[Beautiful anime logic]

[real slow and patient] I hate to break it to you, but Japanese people have black hair. It's genes, or something.

Edited 2014-02-11 06:00 (UTC)

[He's the second person to say something this dumb.]

Maybe in your world, but in mine, the Japanese definitely have blonde hair! I mean, purple and green are a bit rare and black is the most plentiful, but blonde is in no way not Japanese, idiot.

Quit screwing around with me. Nobody has green hair except clowns and idiot punk kids.

[Now this brat's starting to get on his nerves. His voice is running out of patience.] Didn't your parents ever tell you not to call people names?

How about you shut up? Your world is the weird one!

I haven't seen my parents for years, anyway, so even if they did it wouldn't matter! [Welp.]

It's not just my world, kid, it's the real world. The one with the Phillies and lousy weather and Chinese food that gives you cancer. It's the only world anybody needs.

[Great, now you got him all homesick.]

Wait, you're some kinda orphan?

My world sounds more real than yours. What even is the Phillies?

Pffft, as if I'd tell a greasy old man like you! What's the fun of saying everything all at once? [You need more Hope Shards, first-]

What is the-- [Blake's eyes bug out] Come on, you gotta be kidding me. Are you gonna tell me you don't even know about baseball?

I've had about enough out of you, brat. [Can Blake get Assholery Shards instead? He'd have more luck with that.]

Sports used to be fun, but now it's all monopolized, industrialized filth that greedy corporations try to squeeze money out of. I don't waste my time on such trash.

[Technically, Assholery Shards are Hope Shards too. Sometimes the Free Time Event is just them screaming at each other. But as long as you understand the other better, you get a Hope Shard! Even if the understanding is that the other is a fucking shithead. In any case, she's laughing slightly now.] 'Brat' is just a term used by old fools who can't understand that their places are being taken by the younger generation!

[Blake stares at her for a minute.] ...I don't know what they're telling you in third grade these days.

[What if you understand that you hate this kid a lot?] How about you save the smart mouth til you can reach the counter without a stepstool, brat.

[Hope Shard Get!] How does my height have anything to do with my capability, you old pig?

Start talking sense! Elders are only good for their own wisdom and knowledge. If you don't have any, you might as well be useless!

[Angry Little Rock of Hatred acquired.

Really getting tired of that pig shit over here. Blake's lip is twisting into a snarl.] It means you're a goddamn child who doesn't know shit!

I got wisdom coming out my ass!

[Everyone's a pig to her tbh]

Blah, blah, all talk with nothing backing your words! You have wisdom? Prove it!

Oh yeah?

I'll show you, you little twerp. I'll do something so wise it'll blow your damn mind.

[This is a bad idea]

You better not back out! People who can't carry out their own words are the most pathetic!

(no subject)

lieutenantantichrist - 2014-02-18 14:10 (UTC) - Expand

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