❀ 5th Konpeito ❀ [Text]

[konpeitoqueen]

[A strange text comes onto the network. Wait, what's that name? No one's seen her since Poolgate 2014, what's-]

how do you get muk grime out of your hair

[No one's seeing her face yet... though, no one in their right mind would be really worried with her sudden lack of presence. After that Spoink horde.

...SERIOUSLY. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET MUK GRIME OUT OF YOUR HAIR.]

Comments

[artificialrose]

You're not the first person to say that here...

[Dangit, he is a gentleman!! He would never.]

You have nothing to worry about. I'm with Ib to make sure that no such detestable person lays a hand on her. Besides, even if we weren't already good friends, what sort of gentleman would I be if I let a young girl wander around all on her own?

[enjoymyatelier]

This is hardly victimizing you. I was amused by your admittedly hilarious situation and then gave you a helpful tip for dealing with said hilarious situation.

If anything, you should be thanking me for actually bothering.

[twinsanity]

We specialize in weaponry and medical advances. Tools to be used to shape the world. It's an international corporation that my grandfather founded.

Hence I'm not going to complain about slaughter and exploitation; we more or less specialize in war.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake's about to mark out some guys for a beating, but...]

You're calling all of those guys pedophiles.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Bless you.]

[imthe_shit]

And you didn't have a choice because...?

What, were you crawling around in the sewer or something?

[konpeitoqueen]

THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO ME

[JESUS CHRIST, JOKER, she may be taking the bait...]

I COULDN'T HELP THAT LANCE GOT ANGRY

[bertall]

It wouldn't even exist if you were just a little nicer at the party.

_{[MAYBE HE SHOULD SEND A COPY TO WALTER.]}

[konpeitoqueen]

Well, good, some people still have common sense.

[QUESTIONING PEOPLE FOR PEDOPHILIA IS ALWAYS ACCEPTABLE]

Well, she'll have to learn sooner or later! But as long as she doesn't say a peep about anything suspicious...

I'll be trying your advice now! Thanks again, Big Bro Garry!

[konpeitoqueen]

IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF SOMEONE DIDN'T THROW ME IN THE POOL RIGHT THEN AND THERE OUT OF MY CONTROL

[DO IT]

[konpeitoqueen]

[...Ah.]

Obviously, foreign companies would focus on using such brutal, disgusting methods to further themselves. [She's used to people doing a shit ton of crap, but she kinda draws the line on murder. Ew.]

I fail to see how war can build the future, unless the world was already thrown in it.

[konpeitoqueen]

[...um]

i was forced to confront them duh

[konpeitoqueen]

[WOW]

well then you should be glad i've ever bothered with you before either!!!

and it's not hilarious it's gross

[konpeitoqueen]

[Yes, officer.

Every single one of these people are pedophiles.]

uwaaaah, for what other reason would they be so buddy-buddy with me??? even allies shouldn't seek me out so often!

[Saionji Hiyoko, SHSL Life-Ruiner]

[bertall]

You could've ran. Or behaved.

_{[AND ALFRED FOR GOOD MEASURE because as much as he'd like to put it on the network, he doesn't feel like dealing with the backlash.]}

[konpeitoqueen]

YOU THINK I DIDN'T TRY

[To run. Not behave. No comment on the other statement.]

I'M SERIOUS DELETE IT OR ELSE

[bertall]

Or else what?

[konpeitoqueen]

[WE'RE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN BERT]

OR ELSE I'LL MAKE YOU PAY

YOU WON'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

[bertall]

_{[But it's so fun.]}

...Why wouldn't I? You're nearly half my size.

<sub>[Shots.

Fired.]</sub>

[pipers_son]

[HA HA.]

oh i see now thats the champion bloke isnt it. well thanks a lot for answering my question hiyochan!!!!!

good luck with the muk stuff

[artificialrose]

Good luck Saionji! I hope the rest of your day goes better.

[konpeitoqueen]

AEIOHFOIQW

[WHOOPS she sends an accidental keysmash text before she stops replying completely.

a+ bert, now you're gonna get called a pedophile]

[konpeitoqueen]

[oh wait FUCK]

SHUT UP THAT WAS INTENTIONAL

[Tbh she walked right into that.

But still.

She's never to blame.]

[babel_hacker]

I'm definitely sure.

I might not look like it, but I've been taking care of myself for years since my folks went overseas for work.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Proof that I'm not an idiot?

[Let him pretend to think about this one for a moment.]

Of course I have proof.