❀ 3rd Konpeito ❀ [Video/Action]

[konpeitoqueen]

VIDEO

[Who's the most terrible trainer in the world? Saionji Hiyoko, that's who. In any case, she's staring at the video screen, a Vaporeon sitting on her lap. And both of them looked pissed as hell.

Hey, it's not like Saionji didn't even notice Naoryuu was gone!... Okay, yeah, she didn't. But that doesn't change the situation right now.]

When I find out who took my Eevee and forcibly evolved him into a Vaporeon when I wanted an Umbreon, I'll have you publicly stoned! Since execution isn't an option here, I'll have to do with torture. You won't get away with this, slimy pig!

[And, video off.]

ACTION

[Said Vaporeon is currently paddling in the large pond behind the Gym in Violet City. Saionji is sitting at the edge and pouting. Her Petilil is hopping up and down the road bobbing sweets and biscuits on its head from... god knows where to Saionji, but always ends up having to go back to town for more because it gets splashed in the face and dragged into the water by the Vaporeon frequently. Saionji doesn't seem to care much.

...Approach?]

Comments

[konpeitoqueen]

That's not fair! You've probably been here longer, so it's not a good comparison! When I catch up, I'll beat you in no time at all.

[...Actually- yeah, when she looks at Bert, he looks kinda tall.] Ehhhh? How tall are you?

[hint: saionji is shorter than goddess]

[bertall]

Or maybe I'm just a better trainer.

_{[Tall enough to use her as an armrest--]} Six-four, almost five. I've been six feet tall since I was about thirteen.

_{[Tinier than the 104th's tiny goddess!]}

[konpeitoqueen]

Or maybe you're grasping at straws to prove yourself better when you're just a lump of trash.

Six... four- use the metric system, dumbass! I'm Japanese, isn't it obvious? [saionji i hate to break it to you but you're blonde

15 whole cm tinier]

[bertall]

Maybe you're just jealous.

_{[Japanese--? Oh, that's one of those countries from another world, right? Man, she doesn't look like Mikasa though... Weird. Give him a couple seconds to punch that into the 'gear to figure out how it converts.]} Not really, no. Ah--192cm.

<sub>[That's

that's a lot, isn't it.]</sub>

[konpeitoqueen]

As if I'd be jealous of-

[DID YOU SAY 192-]

-what. No, you're lying. [HE CAN FUCKING CRUSH HER JUST BY FALLING OVER JESUS CHRIST] Stand up to... a board, or something! Prove it!

[bertall]

I have a Feraligatr that's about seven feet tall, uh... Would that work?

_{[HE'S NOT SURE HE COULD FIND A BOARD LONG ENOUGH.]}

[konpeitoqueen]

...Fine! Just do it!

[WELL FUCK IT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO MESS WITH THIS ONE]

[bertall]

Okay, okay--!

<sub>[Give him a second to fumble with a Pokeball and call out his Feraligatr, then he's propping the 'gear up against something so he could go stand next to it--well, under its jaw.

The Feraligatr on the other hand just sees her trainer's head as a very nice chin rest.]</sub>

H-Happy now?

[konpeitoqueen]

[WHA-]

What did they feed you?!

[bertall]

Bread? Things like that? I-I don't know, it's just food!

_{[WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK HIM THIS.]}

[konpeitoqueen]

Is everyone from your world that tall?! How do you have problems with monsters if you're all so tall?!

[WHAT]

[bertall]

N-No... My best friend is actually a little shorter than I am, but otherwise everyone is shorter than us... A-And we have problems with them because they eat humans...

[konpeitoqueen]

Oh, so you're abnormal. [THAT'S A RELIEF...]

How big are they, exactly? Just shoot them in the heads or something!

[bertall]

...I know. _{[HIS SELF ESTEEM IS EVEN WORSE NOW...]}

Anywhere from three to fifteen meters tall is the average, and guns don't work on them. They just regenerate.

[konpeitoqueen]

Huh. Tough luck to you, then.

[Anything else to say?] So what about missiles? Helicopters and bombs could work, if they regenerate, then blow them up till there's nothing to regenerate!

[bertall]

...Missiles... Uh, n-no, we don't have those... Or helicopters... I-I don't even know what a helicopter is. We have cannons but those don't work very well either. Their only weak spot is at the back of the neck but getting close to them is really dangerous.

[konpeitoqueen]

Well, if you want to kill those monsters, make missiles and helicopters! There has to be someone here who knows how to do it. So if you go home, just make them!

[this is a serious saionji suggestion]

[bertall]

I don't even think we'd have the resources...

[konpeitoqueen]

Where do you live, under a rock?

[uh]

[bertall]

...Behind walls that keep the titans out.

_{[or they're supposed to keep them out.]}

[konpeitoqueen]

Keep the titans out? Shouldn't you be building walls to keep them in?

[bertall]

They were only built about a hundred years ago when they first started appearing, but by that time humans were already almost extinct.

[konpeitoqueen]

Oh. Tough luck.

[Extinct so fast, though... they sound primitive, sure, but seriously? That must take a lot of monsters.] ...Wait, if you guys can't build helicopters, how can you build walls so big they could keep monsters like that out? Don't most forts keel over eventually?

[bertall]

I wouldn't really know how since they were built before I was born. I don't even know what a helicopter is, I mean, I didn't even know what toasters were until I got here, let alone things like televisions and ah... I read about them recently--trains? They never existed in my world as far as I know.

[konpeitoqueen]

So in your world, humans get half-eaten by monsters before even the Industrial Revolution? Oh well. [The walls sound interesting, though. How'd you build them when there's monsters everywhere?]

Well, I'm getting bored. Bye! [And just like that she... turns off her Gear.]